Certainly: stick 'em up your arse. There is no such thing as 'de-tox' until you've been bitten by a snake. The rest of it is just metrosexuals like you prancing around refusing to say 'hangover' anymore. What's wrong with you people? Drink water, eat something the size of your own head (actually probably not that large) and take a Nurofen. My own preference is:

6 espressos

1 litre cola

Subscription strength codeine to taste

Whereas a colleague once told me with strange zeal:

"I am going to de-tox by eating nothing but apples for two days".

When I suggested if he was so keen on the idea of de-tox perhaps it would be better to take up jogging and not stick so much charlie up his nose, he retorted:

"No substance is pure. There's just as many chemicals in tinned food" while strangling one of the waters.

So how come you don't see machine gun-toting cartels deep in the hills of Mexico killing each other over chip shop style mushy peas? And what are 'nasty chemicals'? Or does he have some sort of airlock behind the front door and live in a fucking vaccuum, while the frayed cuffs his truths shake from rapid wrist movement, filling the lonely void...?

Next!