Google Boss Plunges Enemies into Shark Pond

Google's new book library is cool. They showed us the prototype and I typed in 'War on Peace' and found fifteen umbrella shops in John o' Groats. I did eventually find 'Waugh' but this was 'Dazza's Blog': waugh, wot is it gud for, absolutely nuffink, innit"? Now I understand why we're not going to pay writers anymore if that's how they spell when they've got 38 GCSEs. We did bring up a few interesting propositions from their first draft search engine, such as:

Dirty Harry Potter (J K Eastwood)

Product placement will do well, if 'The Lion, the Witch and the Ikea flatpack' is anything to go by.

The bigger benefit in a recession is that somebody will have to scan them all in. So that's the dole queue reduced by 80% - though economic deficit from drug and alcohol abuse to compensate from a decade of scanning pages all day might be pricey. As well as taking over the workforce, Google also suggest that without them, anybody who can't afford university will now be able to access books. So now they are bombing all the libraries and second hand bookshops as well. Good on 'em - full of dust and stern people.

Google's lovely head honcho doesn't look like somebody trying to take over the world to me. Its just some guy stroking a white cat and looking for the button to the shark bridge...